Unless we are going on a day trip adventure to see where we end up, no one goes anywhere without first having a plan or a road map. Even when we are just running errands we usually plan where we are going first and what the most important item on our list is for that day. Even if you are a "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" creative you still have to have some order and planning so you don't end up on the side of the road with a very well designed "will paint for food" sign at your chest!
For those of you who may not know, my life was turned upside down four years ago when my 25 year marriage ended. It literally blind-sided me. I thought I would be married forever. I had convinced myself that I had the perfect life. The only problem was I had no idea who I was or what I wanted out of life. I was living for and taking care of everyone else, and ignoring myself. I was not fully able to be "myself." I had just enough "leash" to dabble at what I loved but was never free to go for my dreams. So the worst thing that I could ever imagine (the big-D) became the catalyst for change.
To be very honest, the last three years have been challenging. I have cried an ocean of tears and literally had to fall into the arms of Jesus and be carried on my journey. All my friends remark about how strong I am...it's only because I know my weakness and they are seeing HIS strength in me. I have made many mistakes and some of them still bring me shame because I knew better. But today, I have no regrets because those things are making me the person I see today. And I like her!
When I asked for prayer from a minister friend about direction he grinned and said, "God wants you to ask for what YOU want so HE can give it to you!" I went back to my seat and said to myself, "great! I have no idea what I want!" I think many of us have no concrete idea of exactly what we want. We have wishes, hopes or dreams that we just leave hanging out there hoping that the universe will just know. We rarely give voice to those dreams, or we dream without a plan. We allow the urgent activities of the day wash those things from our mind until our heads hit the pillow at night.
So, for today, I am working on my road map taking time to write down specifics and map out how those dreams are going to come to pass. I am being intentional about my direction. I'm excited for the journey!
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